Creations without a Creator?

Creatures like this are proof to me that there is a creator. Can an insect will itself over many generations to look like a leaf so its enemies won’t see it? What consciousness is at work here? A creator’s, or a bug’s? A mistake or intention? 

The atheist and/or evolutionist’s answer is natural selection, the strong, smart or better camouflaged surviving (survival of the fittest) and the others dying until the product is this, but that still indicates a kind of consciousness, the kind of consciousness that adds the deterioration specks of the leaves to its wings, or the reflection of light to an owl’s eye on a butterfly wing. The question is – what is the source of that consciousness?  

Messin’ with Mark – A Divine Comedy, Episode 2 – “The Zipper Incident”

Unknown

You may not know me down here, but I’m kind of a big deal in heaven.

Here’s still more evidence that I’m God’s little cartoon character, or the star of a heaven-based sitcom. Comic relief in heaven. It’s the only explanation. 

Before the first incident, Jesus noticed a large group of angels gathered around God, looking down at something or someone on the earth. Curious to see what the commotion was about, He strolled over, looked over God’s shoulder and said, “Whatcha looking at, Dad?”
God replied, “Watch what I’m gonna do to Mark today. This is gonna be hilarious.”
Jesus shook his head and said, “Him again? C’mon, Pop. Why are you always picking on that guy? I mean, you created him. You’re supposed to be compassionate ‘n stuff.”
“I know but I can’t help it,” God replied. “I mean, look at him!”
Jesus looked down again and said, “Yeah, I can kinda see what you mean. Look at his face.”
They both laughed before Jesus checked Himself again.
“No, Dad. Really. This is wrong. We’re supposed to watch out for people like him.”
God stopped laughing and thought about it for a few seconds, then they looked at each other and said, in unison, “Naaaaaaaa!” 

They decided then and there to make a show out of it – Messin’ with Mark. Read on and you, too, will believe.

Case in point –

One summer Saturday, I was driving to my wife’s house to take her to a long-anticipated concert. She and I had just met and I was struggling to impress her. I was stuck in typical L.A. traffic when I started to get overheated. I had put on a pullover sweater because it was one of those “June gloom” days that started out cold and quickly heated up. Since traffic was stop and go, I decided to quickly remove the sweater the next time traffic came to a full stop. Traffic stopped so I released the seatbelt and started trying to take off the sweater. I had an RX-7 at the time so there wasn’t much room to do anything, let alone put my arms over my head to take a sweater off. The sweater and I ended up in a wrestling death match.

Having used up the 1-2 seconds drivers in Los Angeles have to move when traffic starts moving again, drivers behind me started honking, then yelling, then making hand gestures. But the sweater had become a thing possessed. In desperation, I yanked it off with a vengeance and stepped on the gas to avoid getting shot at by someone whose life I had stolen seven seconds from. I immediately felt a searing pain on my forehead. I looked in the mirror and saw that the zipper on the v-neck had torn an angry path right up the middle as I pulled it off. I had never thought about how treacherous the zipper on this sweater was before this incident. 

I arrived at my wife’s house. She gasped and asked, “What happened to you? Did someone hit you with a tomahawk?” I told her I had been attacked by my own sweater. She laughed as she cleaned the wound. She offered to put a few band-aids on my forehead but I couldn’t bear the humiliation. At dinner, walking around afterward, and at the concert, strangers speculated about what might have happened to me as I fanned my forehead with anything I could find. 

By this time, hundreds of angels had gathered around God and Jesus to watch the show, laughing uproariously. Probably feeling a little guilty, too, because they’re supposed to prevent stuff like this, but a little guilt always makes things we’re not supposed to do a little more enjoyable, like when we got a day off school for a holiday as a kid versus when we stayed home from school pretending we were sick. It was always more fun when we knew we were doing something we weren’t supposed to do, right? Angels are no different. Don’t let their name fool you. 

It’s also no coincidence that God and the person who comes up with ideas for TV shows are both called the “creator”. I imagine God received a little resistance from Jesus on this one since an injury was actually required for this episode, but his response was probably, “Don’t worry, Son. I’ll heal him, too. It’s worth it. This is gonna be hilarious.” Jesus argued to heal me faster than usual, but not so fast that I get suspicious that He orchestrated the whole thing. But they underestimated the intelligence They gave me. I’m onto Them. I’m not this dumb. I can’t be. It has to be Them, and their show. But I don’t mind contributing to the laughter in heaven. It’s kind of an honor, actually. I just wish they would warn me, but I guess tipping me off would ruin the show. God writes in mysterious ways. 

Messin’ with Mark – A Divine Comedy, Episode 1 – “The Wad of Bubble Gum”

computer-God

I obtained more evidence the other day that I’m God’s little cartoon character, or the star of a heaven-based sitcom. Comic relief in heaven. It’s the only explanation.

Before the incident, Jesus noticed a large group of angels gathered around God, looking down at something or someone on the earth. Curious to see what the commotion was about, He strolled over, looked over God’s shoulder and said, “Whatcha looking at, Dad?”
God replied, “Watch what I’m gonna do to Mark today. This is gonna be hilarious.”
Jesus shook his head and said, “Him again? C’mon, Pop. Why are you always picking on that guy? I mean, you created him. You’re supposed to be compassionate ‘n stuff.”
“I know but I can’t help it,” God replied. “I mean, look at him!”
Jesus looked down again and said, “Yeah, I can kinda see what you mean. Look at his face.”
They both laughed before Jesus checked Himself again.
“No, Dad. Really. This is wrong. We’re supposed to watch out for people like him.”
God stopped laughing and thought about it for a few seconds, then they looked at each other and said, in unison, “Naaaaaaaa!” 

gum

Case in point –
I had just dropped my daughter off at school. I was walking back home when I saw a giant, pink blob of chewing gum right in the middle of the sidewalk. I didn’t want some kid to step on it so I tried to kick it into a tree planter about ten feet away, but I kicked it too hard and it flew right past the planter and landed on the windshield of an occupied car. The lady behind the wheel had to look around it to see where it came from. Of course, when she saw me standing there with a mortified expression, she said, “Whyyyyyyyyy?”

What could I say? She got out of the car. I went over and tried to explain. Fortunately, being a mom, she had a bag of baby wipes in her car which I used to extract the pink blob from her windshield. As I was doing so, I apologized that God had included her in His daily sitcom starring me.
“You may not know me here,” I said, “but I’m big in heaven.”
She already thought I was crazy for kicking bubble gum onto her windshield, but that cinched it. She left me standing on the sidewalk with a bubble gum filled baby wipe.

Meanwhile, in heaven, Jesus said, “Forget what I said, Dad. That is some top-drawer comedy. What’s the name of the show?”
“I call it Messin’ with Mark,” God replied.
“Perfect!” Jesus said, “Call Me when the next episode is starting.”